September is here! Happy new school year! (I am clearly not excited at all LOL). My oldest daughter started fourth grade this week and watching my big girl get ready on the first day was a little emotional for me, as it always is. Each year her morning routine seems to lengthen more and more. I stood there on that first day, in her bathroom, watching her carefully apply her lip gloss and spray a light mist of this shimmer spray I have no idea where she got…most likely my mother being the culprit behind all of her beauty products. I went into her closet and excitedly pulled out two of her most beautiful dresses.
“Okay Lilly, I think one of these would be perfect!” I turned around, smiling as I held them up.
Lilly glanced up and looked in her mirror at me and through the glass I saw it, the eye roll. Not just any eye roll…THE eye roll. The one that I have been dreading. The “you are SO not cool Mom” eye roll. Now, I am not newbie to Lilly’s graceful rolling of the eyes, she has perfected this ever since the age of two but this one was different. I felt my stomach drop and the tears brimming, but not before I fired back!
“Well my goodness Lilly, should we just burn them? Why the look of disgust on your face?”
Lilly, sighing the longest sigh to date I think, slowly turns and faces me.
“No MOTHER” Mother? “Do not BURN them, I like them but I OBVIOUSLY have my outfit on already. Dress on the first day? Please, I am over it.” I looked at her cute jean shorts and stylish blue blouse.
WHAT. THE. HECK? A flashback of my five-year-old Lilly on her first day of kindergarten flashed in my mind, with her twirling about in the kitchen, showing off her carefully selected dress and proudly grinning from ear to ear. Okay now signal the tears to continue.
“Okay slick, want some shades to go with that?” Lilly can’t help but let out a giggle, a very short lived one but a giggle nonetheless! Maybe I am still cool afterall.
I go downstairs and see my younger daughter Layla, only 17 months, jumping around in circles in the kitchen, her newest favorite move. I laugh at the silly noises she is making and soak in the happiness from her (for this moment anyway!). It has been a crazy month with summer activities and to top it off, the stress of trying to discover what has been causing Layla’s limping. Watching her move around as she was just then made me feel so relieved inside.
I bent down to be on her level. “Layla, we are going to drop sissy off at her first day of school! And guess what? We are going to check out YOUR new school too!” A big smile erupts on her face and she reaches for me, collapsing into a huge hug. I breathe in her baby smell that is still lingering on her and remembering my big girl upstairs with the eye rolls, the lip gloss and sighing, I pause and allow myself to be present to this moment with my little tot, knowing how fast the years will fly by.
An hour later my husband and I are pulling up to Lilly’s school, backpack stuffed with the new school year supplies and seeing all of the kids heading into school. I see some kindergarteners walking in behind the older kids, trying hard to keep up with their smaller legs. How adorable are they with their backpacks nearly the size of them? I feel my husband knowingly take my hand. He feels it too.
“Later Ma! Later Dad!” I hear the car door open and Lilly jumps out. I watch her for a second walking towards the front door and I see her wave at a friend who was getting off the bus. She looks so old next to those kindergarteners and oh how I wish we could turn the clocks back. As we drive off, I think about her exit from the car, she is so confident! So secure.
We pull into the driveway of Layla’s new school; this time nerves were building up. Is she too young to be doing this? Should we wait another year? I start to cry, this time the tears just falling. What is the matter with me? Stop Lindsay! I ordered myself to shake it off..I mean, it is only three hours for crying out loud that we have her signed up for. Jason takes Layla out of the car, pausing and pointing to her new school, a school like sissy does! Layla wants down and she immediately runs to the door. We walk into her classroom and she bolts away from us, pausing once to turn back, flashing us the most loveable smile she could give us. Her new teacher greets us and picks her up right away. She looks at her, looks back at us and we wave. She waves back.
“Bye-Bye! Bye-Bye Momma! Bye-Bye Dadda!” Okay, full blown tears coming again, no stopping them this time. Doesn’t she want us to ease her in? Jason leans in.
“Just like Lilly, so strong, so beautiful and so confident. Good job Mommy” he whispers. Dear Lord, thank you for this man. We mothers pour our heart and soul into making sure our children are safe, secure and happy so I allow myself a breath of relief as I watched Layla take onto her new school so well.
Secure and happy girls, I am so blessed. Despite Lilly’s eye rolls, I must have done something right. Tears or no tears, we all do “something” right. Have a blessed school year Mamas!